Its changed by me using it more for school, work, research, email. When I was a kid I just used it for chatting with my friends and looking up random stuff. I didn't really know how to use the internet then except to find games and chat rooms.

I prefer something a little more traditional. I usually go and visit my dad's family and dinner is at one of my aunt's places, but this year I'm working as a waitress on Thanksgiving.

Chapter Summary: Buffy tries to call William at the number where she last heard from him. She also has to make a decision about her life now.

Chapter 2 – Making the Call

-4 months later-

Buffy was just into her second trimester with the baby. She told her mom the same day she took the test at Willow’s and discovered that her mom was an unbelievable person. Her mom was surprised of course, but she didn’t pester her with questions or give her a ‘disappointed in you’ talk. Buffy guessed she could see how torn up the whole pregnancy was making her anyway.

Sure there was a part of her that was happy that the baby was Will’s, but more than anything she wished he was there with her from the beginning, that he had wanted to stay with her, baby or not. She felt that he didn’t want to stay. He left because he wanted something bigger and better than Sunnydale, bigger and better than Buffy. That’s what she told herself when she wished he was there.

She’d been going to the doctor for her checkups and everything with the pregnancy was going fine. Four months in she wasn’t showing much, but she could see the little baby bump when she looked in the mirror at home. She’d started school just like she planned all along, but her long term plans and even some short term ones had changed because of the pregnancy. For one she was now planning on taking the spring semester off to have the baby and take care of him. She thought she would sign up for some classes to take from home and some in the summer to stay in the mix of things, but she didn’t want everyone knowing that she was having a baby at 18, or would she be 19.

When she went to sleep at night she wondered what would happen to her life. She wondered what her baby would be like. She wanted it to be a boy so she could name him William. He would stay with her, she thought. Then she’d think how that wasn’t fair to the baby. It wasn’t fair to make her little Will stay with her because his father wouldn’t. She knew better, even now. She wished William had stayed, but she would make the best of her situation.

The baby was a part of her. She could feel him growing inside of her and she loved him more than she’d loved anything in her life. She could see him growing up. He was a toddler and then a little boy and then a bigger boy and bigger. She could see so far as him graduating high school, but then she wondered ‘What next?’

She didn’t know what came next for her. Things had gotten so mixed up even if it appeared she was doing everything right. She was going to school and she was preparing for the baby, but she still felt so confused. Her heart cried out for William.

Whenever she got confused that’s who she would call. In the last four months she’d picked up the phone several times to call him, but she never dialed the number. She didn’t have a number after he had called her the one time a few days after graduation, but Willow had told her she could always call information for a William Giles or she could try his dad, as a last resort of course.

Well, it turned out that he was in information. She wrote the number down and looked at it frequently. She thought about calling even more often than she picked up the phone to call. Willow had told her she should tell him about the pregnancy, and Buffy knew she was right. William had a right to know.

So, after four months of waiting and thinking about it she finally picked up the phone and dialed the number. A minute later a guy answered the phone, “Hello.”

“Hi, I’m calling for William. Is he there?” Buffy asked, feeling more nervous than she sounded.

“No, he moved.”

“Oh,” she said softly, disappointment hitting her.

“I do have a number for him though if you’d like it,” the man said nicely.

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” she said, hope filling her again.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Buffy took down the number and thanked the man again.

Before she lost her nerve she called the new number. It rang several times before a woman picked up the phone, “Hello,” said the woman’s voice.

“Hel-lo,” Buffy said, her nerves returning. “Is this the right number for William?” she asked.

“No, no William lives here. Sorry. Anything else?” The woman’s voice said with an irritated air.

“No, thank you. Sorry for the mistake. Bye,” Buffy said, hanging up the phone. Her heart sank. She didn’t know what had happened to William and she needed him now. “No, I don’t need him. I can do this on my own,” she said with determination.


On the other side of the last phone conversation a skimpy blonde wearing everything in pink hung up the phone and turned back to her live-in boyfriend with a little pout.

“What’s wrong princess?” he asked.

She strolled over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I see then. Another wrong number was it?” he smirked.

“Yes… why do we keep getting them, Spike?” she asked.

“It’s probably crazies looking for me, you know?” he said with a chuckle.

“Yes, and it’s usually women,” she added with a vengeance.

“Oh? Does that make you jealous?” he asked huskily.

“Yes… and horny,” she said.

The bleach blonde rocker and the skimpy blonde went upstairs.


Buffy sat in her living room quietly. She wasn’t sure what to do now. She had tried calling him and had the wrong number. There was something in her brain that told her to call information again, that in 4 months they would have gotten a new number for William Giles, but her heart was a different matter. It felt let down and she didn’t want to try again for fear of another let down. So the question was “What do I do now?”

She asked the question to the empty room around her and discovered that the best thing for her would be to move on. She had a new life shaping up for her. She had a baby to take care of and she couldn’t be pining over some guy from high school, even if it was the father.

The doctor had given her an approximate due date from the date of conception. She was due in early March. Her plans to attend UC Sunnydale for the fall semester and not the spring were already in order. She hadn’t talked to her mom about them yet, but she hoped that she would understand.

Buffy put on some shoes and walked out of the house. She’d come home for a visit today. Her mom wanted to have dinner with her and she had agreed. Normally she would be in the dorm with Willow. College life was nice, but she didn’t feel that she could fully live it at the moment. She couldn’t party and she couldn’t wear skimpy clothes and go out dancing. Her life was so different than the way she had imagined it. Of course Willow didn’t really do that ‘normal’ college stuff either. She occasionally went out with Oz, but she was the studious one who wanted to make the best grades in college just as she had in high school. Sometimes Willow managed to drag Buffy to the Bronze and once there Buffy did have fun.

Walking around Sunnydale now she was able to clear her mind a little. Every place she passed held a memory though. She’d been in Sunnydale for a long time. She had moved to Sunnydale when she was a little girl and now she didn’t even remember living in LA. Sunnydale was all she could ever want in a hometown, a place to grow up in. It was small, but not too small. It had all these nooks and crannies and now she found herself wishing she could raise her son in this town.

But that’s what it was… wishing. She didn’t want to stay in Sunnydale any more. She couldn’t. There were too many memories of William and her life. They’d had this wonderful friendship and she had lost that. She wanted to start over somewhere new and fresh. She didn’t want to go to LA. It was a big city, but she didn’t want the fear of running into him. No, she had now decided on San Francisco. She would move at the end of the semester in December. She would also go to the University there and apply for admissions next fall, but hopefully take classes in the spring and summer too. She could take classes from her apartment in the spring, the same as she had planned to do here. Now all she had left to do was pack, and break the news to her friends and mom.

Something personal and home made because they probably wouldn't have much of that... maybe a mixed CD.

Hmmm... I'd love to see Nickelback or Muse, possibly Hinder.

I do, but only to a point. I actually prefer to check my horoscope at the end of the day to see if it matches up with anything. That way I don't live my life according to what my horoscope said, because that seems silly to me. They're general predictions for people born in that whole period. How can they be right for every person in that sign? They can't! But I do think there is a certain pull from the stars and the alignment of the planets from when you were born. As it is I don't check my horoscope that often, but it is on my iGoogle homepage.

Father of Mine
Part 1: The Way Back
Chapter 1 - A Parting Gift
The first few weeks of summer went by smoothly for Buffy and her friends. They were all happy to be out of school, for good and they were spending time at their hangouts and sleeping in for as long as they could.
Buffy had decided to take it easy since her mom didn’t force her to get a job. Joyce had thought that Buffy
should enjoy the summer while she could since she might want to get a job in the fall to have extra spending
money. She would help Buffy out all she could, but she still had to take care of Dawn too. So, a few days after graduating Buffy had asked her mom if she could help out at the gallery a few times a week. Joyce agreed
saying, “That would be lovely, sweetie” and it was settled. Buffy had a little extra income for the summer and
her mom was pleased that she was taking the initiative to work.
Since she usually helped at the gallery in the afternoons she would stay in bed till about 9 or 9:30. Her morning ritual consisted of being awoken by the alarm clock, smacking the contraption to turn it off and laying in bed for another 10-15 minutes before finally getting out and going into the bathroom. There she brushed her hair back into a neat-er ponytail and brushed her teeth. Then she went downstairs to eat a light breakfast of toast, 2 pieces, and a glass of juice.
It was a Wednesday morning around 9:30 when Buffy made her way downstairs. She looked at the calendar in
the kitchen and realized it was just over 3 weeks since graduation. She let out a sigh that went unnoticed by
anyone else. The kitchen was empty except for the dishes that Dawn had left. “She’s probly at Janice’s
already,” she said to the empty kitchen. Buffy walked to the fridge and took out the loaf of bread and carton of
juice. She set the juice on the island and took out two pieces of bread and walked them over to put them in the
toaster. She closed off the bread and put it back in the fridge before reaching into the cabinet for a glass. She
went back to the island and poured a glass of o. j. She took a sip of her juice and then heard her toast pop. She
ripped a paper towel loose from the roll and grabbed her toast. She sat down and quietly ate her toast and
finished her juice.
When she was finished with her breakfast she turned to notice the morning paper off to the side. She picked it
up and glanced through it for a few moments before stopping in the Lifestyle section. “Oh la la!” she said,
looking at the new fashion trends for the fall. Getting a better look at the paper, she comfortably set her elbow
on the countertop and her chin in her hand.
Just then she felt a turn in her stomach. “Ugh! Not again!” She quickly dropped the paper and practically flew
upstairs to her bathroom. She ran to the toilet and threw her face over the bowl. Holding her stomach while she
emptied its contents into the toilet she knew it was time. A few minutes later she pulled back and slowly stood
up. She grabbed a washcloth and wet it before wiping her forehead and then her mouth. Then she rinsed out her
mouth.
Buffy quietly walked to her room and picked up the phone as she sat down on the edge of her bed. She pressed
the second speed dial and listened to it ring a few times.
“Hi,” she said, trying to sound cheerful, but not really succeeding.
“Hi, Buffy. Is something wrong?” Willow answered the phone.
“Uh, yeah… kinda. Can I come over? I need your help with something.”
“Sure Buff. Come right over. My mom’s out of town again and dad’s at work so we’ll be alone.”
“’K. I’ll be right there.”
As Buffy dressed she remembered the day she graduated.
“Bye honey,” her mom called as Buffy ran out the front door to meet her ride to the school for graduation.
“Hi, Will,” she smiled as she got into the black Desoto.
“Hey, Buffy,” he said with a smile back as he took the emergency brake off and pulled away from her house.
They were quiet for a few minutes before William asked her, “You excited?”
She crinkled up her nose. “Kinda.” She paused and looked over at him. “Kinda nervous too.”
“Nervous?” He chuckled lightly. “Me too, ‘though I ‘ave no idea why.”
“Really?” she asked hopefully.
“Yeah.” He looked back at the road and said, “Two peas in a pod we are, eh?”
“We really are,” she said a bit dreamily, staring out the passenger’s window as they came closer to the school.
As they pulled up into the parking lot and he parked the car he asked, “So… wanna hang out tonight? After the
party and stuff, o’ course.” He looked at her as they sat in the car for another minute.
“Yeah, that would be nice.” She smiled demurely and opened her door, getting out of the car. She closed the
door behind her and watched him get out too. Up ahead she spotted Willow and Xander.
Buffy walked out of her house in a tank top and shorts to walk over to Willow’s house. Each step she took
brought back more of that day. She’d thought about graduation a lot in the last few weeks, but she tried to avoid thinking about that night. Now she remembered it fully.
“Will,” she whispered through the open window to his bedroom. They were quite the Joey and Dawson of
Sunnydale, only they’d never acted on their hidden feelings. They both had them, but neither of them ever
wanted to mess up the friendship. So, they had remained best friends ever since William Giles had moved to
Sunnydale from England at the age of 11.
There was no answer. “He must not be back yet,” she whispered to herself, climbing through the window to
wait for him. They had seen each other a few times at the graduation party at Cordy’s, but they mingled and
danced with their friends too. When Buffy bumped into Will in the house he had pulled her aside and asked her
how much she’d been drinking. She was definitely tipsy, but not drunk. She had giggled at him and tried to get
closer. That’s when they had agreed to meet up back at his room after the party. The party was breaking up and
she saw him leaving, but she got a ride with Willow and Oz. They dropped her at her house and she ran the few
blocks over to Will’s house once they had driven away.
Her head jerked up, sitting on the edge of his bed, as she heard someone coming in the window. “Hi,” he
whispered, climbing the rest of the way through the window. He walked over and sat beside her on the bed.
“Hi,” she whispered back, turning her head to be just a few inches from his. She looked into his deep blue eyes.
Her hand seemed to move of its own accord as it came up to gently caress his cheek. “Will,” she said softly.
He was speechless for a moment, leaning into her touch with a soft smile gracing his lips. Finally he said,
“Yes.”
Buffy was quiet, unsure of what to say next. She knew what she wanted here and now, but she wondered if he
wanted the same thing. Her mind went over what she wanted for a minute. She wanted him. She wanted to be
able to say goodbye before he left. She’d had sex before, so that wasn’t the issue. She remembered how Will
had been there for her during their sophomore year of high school when she had been dating Angel. That’s who
her first was and after that night Angel didn’t call her. Will was there to threaten to kick his ass, but Buffy
stopped him saying that it would be no use. Will was the only one who knew the whole story behind Buffy and
Angel. Now here she was with her best friend and she wanted to give him a part of herself that she had never
fully given to anyone. She didn’t know how to put it into words, so she leaned forward to kiss him softly on the
lips.
Her warm, moist lips covered his and worked slowly to bring him into the kiss. Only a few seconds passed
before his surprise wore away and he began to kiss her back. One hand moved to her hip and the other to the
small of her back. After a minute had passed Buffy could feel Will’s tongue tracing her lower lip, asking for
entrance. She parted her lips willingly and reveled in the feel of his tongue against hers. Slowly he began to lie
back on his bed, pulling her with him. When she was lying on top of him she moaned softly. The sound broke
through his lust addled brain and he broke the kiss gently.
“Buffy,” he said her name desperately.
She heard the desperation in his voice and she suddenly wasn’t sure if this was what he wanted. His tone
instantly brought a small frown to her face, but she remained quiet.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked gently. “I don’t want us to do anythin’ we’re gonna regret, yeah?” He
seemed to be pleading with her as his hand came to her chin and his thumb tugged at the corner of her mouth.
He didn’t like to see her frowning. Even if she did look cute, she always looked cute and beautiful to him, he
was happier when she was smiling.
Her lips curled up a little from his thumb and she nodded. “I’ve never been more sure. I can’t put into words
what you mean to mean, Will.”
“I know, pet. I feel the same way. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you in LA. We’ve been friends for so
long…”
Buffy put her fingertips to his lips. “So, let’s not ruin this with more words, yeah?”
She sat back on her heels and pulled her shirt over her head. He followed suit and took off his shirt too. Next
she got off the bed, which suddenly made him think she had changed her mind until she started to unbutton her
jeans. She kicked off her shoes as she unzipped her pants and then slid them off. He stood from the bed, quickly
pulling back the covers, and took her face in his hands. “We’ve never seen each other like this,” he whispered
slowly.
“Other than catching peeks when we went skinny dipping…” she joked, “no.” She ran her fingers through his
hair. He smiled and ran his hands behind her back to undo her bra clasp. She let it fall to the floor before
eyeing him as he stood there still in his jeans. “What about you?”
He smiled again. “You’ll see.”
She maneuvered her hands through his arms and set them on his waist. “Uh huh,” she nodded with a smirk.
Slowly she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and then pushed them down. They fell to the floor and she saw
him in all his beauty. “Commando, huh?” she said with a grin.
He grinned back at her and said, “Well, yeah” with a tilt of his head. He stepped out of his jeans and swept her
up in his arms with a gasp of surprise from her. He laid her down in the bed.
She scooted over in the bed and he slid in beside her and pulled the covers over them, partly. Most of their
upper bodies still showed in the moonlight that came into the room. He lay on his side to look at her, his hand
tracing the hem of the panties she still wore. She lay on her back and turned her face to look at him better. She
smiled as she felt him playing with her panties.
He leaned over her and kissed her soundly, their tongues battling for control. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered
as he moved his hand inside her panties and slid a finger inside of her. Slowly he eased a second finger inside
of her and began to move them in and out, never fully removing them. “You’re so warm, pet,” he whispered
into her ear.
Her hand went to hold his neck and slide into his hair as she bit her lower lip cautiously before releasing it and
moaning softly. She arched her hips up to meet his hand as she felt his other hand pinching her clit. “Ahhhh”
was the soft sound that escaped her lips next. He smiled at her although she couldn’t see him now since she’d
closed her eyes a moment before. “Will… I- I need you…” she murmured, trying to speak clearly.
He removed his fingers from inside of her and brought them to his mouth to clean them. She smiled at the
gesture and he seemed pleased with himself. Then she felt his hands move back to her hips and slowly pull her
panties down. He sat back on his heels and pulled them down to her knees. She raised her legs to make it easier
for him to remove them, keeping her legs together so he could slide them off. He tugged them from her foot and
tossed them aside.
She moved her legs back down, one on either side of where he still sat back on his heels. Her eyes met his for a
moment and saw something there, a question almost. She followed his eyes to the bedside table and then looked
back at him. “Protection?” she asked, and he nodded. She reached over to the table and opened the small
drawer. Her fingers fumbled around for a few seconds before she had one and she pulled it out. She tore the
wrapper carefully and asked, “Do you want me to do it?”
He nodded, his eyes glazing over with a combination of lust and awe. He watched as she sat up and unrolled
the condom onto his hard cock. He waited for her to lie back on the bed again before he caressed her thigh as
he made his way back over top of her. He looked into her eyes, waiting for confirmation and caressing her
cheek.
She nodded and waited for a moment. She felt the first pinch as he moved inside of her. Then she felt him pause
and she met his eyes again. “I’m fine,” she said. “Better than fine as a matter o’ fact,” she smiled at him. Her
hand moved to caress his cheek and she wrapped her other hand around his neck to pull him in for a kiss. She
felt him begin to move inside of her and the kiss broke as they gazed into one another’s eyes. She wanted to say
‘I love you,’ but she didn’t want to make it harder for him to leave either. So, she decided not to say it.
He began slowly moving in and out without ever fully leaving her. After a few minutes his pace quickened and
his thrusts grew harder. His breathing remained steady, and he was thankful he had good stamina. The pace
remained the same for several minutes more when he felt her muscles clench around him. He felt her nails
scrape over his shoulder blades and he groaned at the pleasant feeling of it. He hungrily claimed her mouth
again and thrusted harder into her.
She moaned into his mouth as she felt her climax take her. It felt like a roller coaster, slowly climbing up and
then rushing down. No sooner had she felt herself come down then she felt herself climbing up again. ‘How
does he do it?’ she wondered. She’d never felt like this before. Her second orgasm quickly tore through her
body, sending her muscles shuddering around him yet again.
At the second clenching of her muscles he lost his control and his thrust became erratic. His breathing was
shallower and he felt his seed spurt into the condom. He thrusted a few more times and felt her calming. He
buried his face in her neck and stilled his movements. He kissed her throat a few times and said, “Bloody hell”
before pulling himself out of her. He fell to the side and laid there for a moment, still trying to catch his breath.
Without any trouble, or much thought, he pulled the condom off and tossed it in the trash can beside his bed.
All she could do at the moment was stare at the ceiling. Her body felt numb, in a very good, satisfied kind of
way. After her breathing returned to normal she turned on her side and looked at him with a little smile. He
looked back at her and saw the smile. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her to his body.
Her back was to his chest and he kissed her neck, making her smile more.
“Tired?” he asked.
“A little,” she murmured, followed by an unexpected yawn. “Guess so,” she laughed.
“’s alrigh’. Sleep now, pet.”
That was the last time she was really with him, the last time they were together. It was only a few weeks ago
and she’d tried not to think of him too much. Now she had to think of him, and she might very well have to
think of him every day for the rest of her life. She’d left his bed the next morning with a quick and quiet
goodbye. He promised he would call when he got settled in LA and did call a few days later. After that one call
she hadn’t heard from him again.
She stepped up to Willow’s door and knocked. A moment later Willow answered with a flush look on her face.
“Buffy, what’s going on? You sounded so… you had me worried but you look fine.” Willow looked her friend
up and down.
“Wills… can I come in?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah, Buff… let’s sit in the living room.”
“No ones here, right?” she asked a little nervously.
“No, no ones here.” Willow looked Buffy over seriously. “What is it? Out with it Buffy… you can’t—”
“I think I’m pregnant,” she whispered, but her voice was clear.
“Wha-at? How? I didn’t know you even… when did you… oh, Buffy…” Buffy had started to cry. The tears just
streamed down her cheeks as she looked at Willow.
“Will-ow… it was Will… after the graduation party at Cordy’s… we met back at his place…” Buffy sniffled
and continued. She wanted to get it out.
“Oh, Buffy, don’t cry. It’s gonna be alright.” Willow went closer and hugged her friend.
“But he used protection…” she said with determination. She sat up and sniffled again. “How can this happen to
me now?” She looked down and sighed, “I don’t even have a way to get in touch with him. He called a couple
weeks ago but I didn’t get his number and I haven’t heard from him since…” she trailed off and there was
silence.
Willow didn’t know what to say or do. The one conclusion she came to was that Buffy had to take a pregnancy
test. Slowly she said, “Buffy… I think you should take a test… then we’ll know for sure and we can worry
about whatever comes next.”
“Okay…” she mumbled and sniffled again. She looked down and wiped away her tears with the back of her
hand.
“Come on,” Willow said softly. She took Buffy’s hand and helped her get up from the couch. “I’ll take you to
the store. Mom left her car here, so we can drive there and drive back here to take it.”
Buffy was quiet as she followed Willow out of the house and to the car. They drove to the store in silence and
went inside to pick out a test. Buffy didn’t know which one to get exactly, but finally decided on EPT saying,
“These are supposed to be accurate, right?”
Willow nodded and they purchased the test and left the store, returning to Willow’s house a few minutes later.
When they got back to the house the two girls made their way to the upstairs bathroom that was Willow’s.
Willow gave Buffy a reassuring smile and Buffy went into the bathroom on her own. She looked at the box and
read the instructions.
She peed on the stick and set it on a piece of toilet paper by the sink to wait the 3-5 minutes for the results.
While she waited she poked her head out of the bathroom and called for Willow. “Wills… you wanna wait with
me?”
Willow thought she almost sounded desperate and her heart went out to her friend. “Yeah, Buff. Let’s wait in
my room for a few minutes and then go back to look at the test. That way we’re not so focused on it.”
“Is that like ‘Time flies when you’re having fun’?” Buffy asked sarcastically as she went into Willow’s room.
“Come on you. It’s gonna be alright. Whatever the results are… you’ll be fine.”
“I hope so.” She glanced at Willow’s clock nervously.
“So…” Willow began.
“Let’s not… I have no idea what to say or think right now. I just want to wait. K?”
“Ye-ah…” she said quietly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’ve just been… stressing and sick. That’s what made me think I might be.
I’ve been sick the last three mornings and I didn’t know why. I’d always feel better later but… yeah.” Buffy
stopped there and looked down. They were quiet again before Buffy looked at the clock and said, “I think it’s
time.”
Buffy led the way back into the bathroom and Willow stood in the doorway waiting quietly for Buffy to read
the results. There was an expression on Buffy’s face, but Willow couldn’t tell what the test said from it.
“Buffy… what does it say?”
She just stared at the test. “It says pregnant,” she said dazedly.
“Oh,” was all Willow said.
To be continued…

My English teacher in 10th grade, Mr. Hauschneer, or my history teacher in 11th grade, Mr. Barton. Both were really great.

Gone Baby Gone

Two months later
Shock wears off
Questioning my reality
Out of body feeling

Jolted back
Harsh light of day
No more pretending
This is my reality

Stuck between
The smile and the frown
Trying to go on
Struggling every day

Just want it to stop
Just let me stop
Even for a moment
A little reprieve

Because this is my life
Its hard
Its every day
Its never-ending

Nothing left to do
But go on living
Sometimes I don’t want to
Tell me that’s wrong

There’s nothing left
But papers
And memories
Of days gone by

Its all because of you
Because you’re not here
Because I miss you
Because I love you

My baby’s gone
And he was mine
From the day he came home
He was mine

My best friend
My confidante
My fighter
My playmate

Now I feel so lost
Standing alone
Talking to myself
Gone baby gone

I spend less quality time with my family whether its by being on the computer, texting, or just sitting in front of the tv & watching a movie.